Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Malibu Shark Attack (2009)

"Malibu Shark Attack" on Hulu. This is a 2009 killer shark movie from Insight Film Studios, which appears to work out of Australia.

IMDB summary: When a tsunami floods Malibu, it brings with it a hunting pack of deep-water, prehistoric goblin sharks that go after the lifeguards in their half-submerged station on stilts and a team of construction workers stranded in a flooded house.

Here’s the trailer.

I shared my experience live on Facebook. The transcript is below the fold.

April 26 at 6:41pm - Those are messed-up looking sharks.
April 26 at 6:42pm - Our token recognizable actor is Peta Wilson.
April 26 at 6:43pm - Apparently quite a few of these things were released by the earthquake.
April 26 at 6:44pm - Girl complaining about having to do community service is probably shark bait.
April 26 at 6:46pm - Not exactly splurging on the practical effects. Not even red dye in the water when that snorkler got eaten.
April 26 at 6:48pm - Such a happy couple. I expect one of them to die.
April 26 at 6:49pm - Gratuitous montage of beach bodies number 4.
April 26 at 6:49pm - What is it about ski boats that prehistoric sharks find so interesting.
April 26 at 6:54pm - One of the lifeguards happens to have a hunting rifle because he's going on a hunting trip come the weekend.
April 26 at 6:54pm - Bikini montage... again.
April 26 at 6:56pm - Gratuitous scantilly-clad lady doing construction work.
April 26 at 7:00pm - Why is there blood coming out of his mouth when his *legs* were bitten off?
April 26 at 7:01pm - Tsunami alert due to the next earthquake. I guess that will bring the sharks on shore.
April 26 at 7:04pm - Did community service girl just start experiencing civic responsibility?
April 26 at 7:05pm - Is there really that much warning of a tsunami?
April 26 at 7:05pm - And the gun comes out to save the people tumbled into the water.
April 26 at 7:06pm - The marine biologist lifeguard recognizes the prehistoric shark.
April 26 at 7:07pm - I hope that lifeguard shack is sturdy. (Of course it will be, too many main characters in there.)
April 26 at 7:08pm - So much buildup for the hit.
April 26 at 7:10pm - Oops. Community service girl got cut by a file cabinet and is bleeding into the water.
April 26 at 7:11pm - All our main characters are on precarious islands in the tsunami flood, of course.
April 26 at 7:16pm - Got the cut stitched up (with no anesthesia), but there are already sharks circling.
April 26 at 7:17pm - Give people time to reply when you're using the radio.
April 26 at 7:17pm - How long until tsunami flood waters start to recede?
April 26 at 7:21pm - Apparently these sharks are pretty blind, but have especially good electo-sensitivity. Surely a plot point.
April 26 at 7:22pm - Okay marine biologist, staying alive is more important than preserving individual prehistoric sharks for study.
April 26 at 7:23pm - Well, with no irony whatsoever, the shark breaking through the floor grabbed the marine biologist.
April 26 at 7:26pm - How about climbing onto the roof of the shack to get away from the water?
April 26 at 7:27pm - Oh, the cute construction girl is going to try to swim for help. This will not end well.
April 26 at 7:29pm - Well, that was unexpected. One jumped over the pier to grab her boyfriend.
April 26 at 7:29pm - (these people are in a luxury house under construction, the other "island" in our little scenario)
April 26 at 7:30pm - Well, if you can make one of the sharks bleed, the others will definitely turn on it.
April 26 at 7:31pm - Peta's boyfriend in the house is trying to figure out how to get to her in the shack. I don't imagine it turning out well.
April 26 at 7:33pm - They're trying to figure out how to get to a flare gun, which is under water. Seriously, why is no one thinking "get on the roof and periodically try the radio"?
April 26 at 7:35pm - Oh, our hero happens to be a Navy Seal? They held on to that long enough.
April 26 at 7:37pm - I was wondering when you were going to remember you were supposed to distract them.
April 26 at 7:39pm - Good by shark. Too bad it was your only flare.
April 26 at 7:39pm - Have you noticed you have an opening to the ROOF now?
April 26 at 7:40pm - Why has one suddenly started attacking the building foundation?
April 26 at 7:40pm - At least someone suggested getting on the roof.
April 26 at 7:41pm - And here comes the new boyfriend with a boat.
April 26 at 7:43pm - Of course, the sharks have attacked dingies that looked more seaworthy than this boat, so how far can they get?
April 26 at 7:43pm - Oops, the boat motor ran out of gas.
April 26 at 7:45pm - Dang! They managed to drift back to the luxury house "island" without being attacked.
April 26 at 7:45pm - Guy going into the house is in trouble.
April 26 at 7:46pm - Guy who lost his marine biologist fiancée is sacrificing himself to distract the sharks.
April 26 at 7:47pm - Oops, lost another guy.
April 26 at 7:49pm - So we've got two people in a half-submerged SUV, and the remaining three in the half-flooded house.
April 26 at 7:51pm - Guys, get the hell out of the half-flooded bottom floor. Priority one.
April 26 at 7:52pm - At least Peta's boyfriend saved the battery-operated power tools.
April 26 at 7:53pm - Looks like the pipe he's hanging onto to stay out of the water is going to fail on him, though.
April 26 at 7:53pm - Dang. What kind of explosive thing was in that pack he fed it?
April 26 at 7:55pm - Oh, dear. Peta kissed the "old" boyfriend. That could be trouble. Not that I really expect the new boyfriend to survive the movie.
April 26 at 7:56pm - Of course he found a chainsaw!
April 26 at 7:56pm - That was really terribly choreographed.
April 26 at 7:59pm - Are you guys really gonna do this right now?
April 26 at 8:00pm - This girl is so going to need good antibiotics if she lives.
April 26 at 8:02pm - New shark in the house. They've decided to hold their "ground" and kill it. Surely one of them will die.
April 26 at 8:03pm - I was mistaken.
April 26 at 8:03pm - And I guess that's the end.

April 26 at 8:06pm - Holy crap! At the end of "Malibu Shark Attack", the heroine suggested having a poly relationship with the two male leads!

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