Sunday, May 30, 2010

"Yeti" on Syfy

I watched Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon on Syfy on Friday night. I did a blow-by-blow review on my Facebook profile, but I thought I'd share a copy here, as well.

"Yeti" is starting on Syfy. Share my pain! - Friday at 8:00pm

Three mountain climbers look doomed to die. - Friday at 8:01pm

Exploring the "Demon Cave" always has predictable results. - Friday at 8:02pm

Looking forward to it ignoring bullets. - Friday at 8:03pm

Maybe not. Apparently frozen guns are prone to misfire. Who knew? Also, Yeti are carnivorous. - Friday at 8:04pm

Wasn't there a movie already made about a plane crash in the Himalayas? Or some other high, cold mountain range? Minus the Yeti, of course. - Friday at 8:06pm

And several passengers are college football players. And we've already established who the hero will be. - Friday at 8:07pm

A college "bowl game" is being played in Japan? Boy, someone was stretching for a way to get the football team into the Himalayas. Wouldn't they go across the Pacific via Hawaii? - Friday at 8:08pm

Bad weather ahead! - Friday at 8:09pm

You know, pilots usually either change altitude or course to avoid flying right through a storm, don't they? - Friday at 8:09pm

Coach, if the oxygen masks have dropped, it's not just a little bit of turbulence. You've lost cabin pressure. - Friday at 8:11pm

Looks like the fuselage broke off forward of the wings. Most everyone in that section gets to live... for a while. - Friday at 8:13pm

Early prediction: the backup quarterback (apparent hero) gets to live. The first string QB is Yeti nomz. - Friday at 8:14pm

I wonder if they're going to consider cannibalism, of if they'll just skip that part. - Friday at 8:17pm

"We've gotta go!" Where, fool? - Friday at 8:18pm

Lessee... in these conditions, hypothermia would set in in, what? Five minutes? - Friday at 8:19pm

Hmm... star QB may not be a jerk jock. Seems to be leading the rescue effort. Plus, he's got a girlfriend, which increases his survivability. - Friday at 8:20pm

Yes, you can wait where you are, stupid. Use the fuselage for shelter, keep a fire going to stay warm, go through any luggage that's handy for extra layers to wear, etc. - Friday at 8:22pm

Most of the useful stuff was in the tail section. Oops. - Friday at 8:23pm

Two guys are going to try to get the spare radio from the tail section. They will, of course, be eaten by the Yeti. - Friday at 8:25pm

Ooh! There's a professional Himalayan rescue service. - Friday at 8:26pm

Guys going for the radio are not adequately dressed. - Friday at 8:26pm

"Have you found anything we can use to make fire?" Maybe you should have started one from the pieces of burning debris we saw earlier, stupid. - Friday at 8:27pm

And we've identified a jerkass whose death should be particularly karmic. - Friday at 8:28pm

Dude, you're hiking in the Himalayas; put your hood up. Not that you'll live long enough for it to matter. - Friday at 8:29pm

Backup QB found the radio. No response, of course. I'm sure death is imminent. - Friday at 8:29pm

Oh, the guys who went in search of the radio are going to shelter in the Yeti cave. Can't imagine what will happen. - Friday at 8:30pm

Hopefully the one who was making sense will die last. - Friday at 8:31pm

Yeti! - Friday at 8:31pm

Nope... smarter guy died first. Backup QB must get to take the story back to the others. - Friday at 8:32pm

Coach has kicked off (after giving the star QB a pep talk, of course). - Friday at 8:33pm

Aw... QB's girlfriend saw the Yeti, and no one believes her. - Friday at 8:34pm

Of course, despite the clear sky, the rescue chopper can't get all the way to the crash site. The rescuers must hike for a while. - Friday at 8:41pm

Dumbass wants to "hike out of here". - Friday at 8:42pm

"Are we about to vote somebody off?" -- that was a good one. - Friday at 8:43pm

Having injured himself trying to climb out of an second cave opening, backup QB has splinted his own leg to try again. I don't expect him to live, but you've got to give him credit. - Friday at 8:44pm

Oooh... a Chekov's flare gun! (with two flares) - Friday at 8:44pm

And backup QB is out of the cave! - Friday at 8:51pm

Jackass wants to hike out, but he doesn't want to do it by himself... go figure. - Friday at 8:52pm

Ooh! He's gonna do it! He's suggesting cannibalism! - Friday at 8:53pm

QB thinks they should hunt squirrels in the woods, instead. Wonder who'll get eaten by a Yeti trying that. - Friday at 8:54pm

And here comes the Yeti for backup QB! - Friday at 8:54pm

That's an impressively bad costume. - Friday at 8:55pm

Rescuers have gotten close enough to see the plane with binoculars. - Friday at 8:57pm

Almost caught a rabbit! - Friday at 8:58pm

Damn! Cheerleader's deadly with a javelin! Might be another Chekov's gun! - Friday at 8:58pm

Rabbit on a stick! Nommy! - Friday at 8:59pm

Ooh... rescue guy respects the Yeti legend. - Friday at 9:05pm

And the jackass is trying to foment dissent behind the QB's back. - Friday at 9:06pm

Well, the fight finally happened. - Friday at 9:08pm

And there's dissent about cannibalism. - Friday at 9:09pm

Oh, the dramatic decision-making. If only there were military helicopters that could operate in arctic conditions. - Friday at 9:11pm

EDIT: "Didier Delsalle successfully landed a helicopter on the summit of Everest, the highest mountain in the world. Delsalle completed this record breaking task, twice in two day (May 14th and 15th 2005). These flights set the new World Record for the highest altitude take-off. Eurocopter (Eurocopter.com) designed the helicopter."

Uh-oh... they're about to give in and resort to cannibalism... will the Yeti interrupt? This has SO been done before. - Friday at 9:17pm

Dude, don't go for belly meat. - Friday at 9:18pm

Hmm... frying human. "Kinda smells like chicken." Wonder if it will attract the Yeti. - Friday at 9:19pm

Guess not. Now they'll have to live with it. - Friday at 9:19pm

And someone has decided to burn the rest of the bodies so they won't resort to cannibalism again. - Friday at 9:20pm

"There's fossil evidence all over Asia that there was a giant ape here." Yeah, sure there is. - Friday at 9:21pm

Someone or something is approaching in the night. I'm betting on backup QB. - Friday at 9:23pm

I was right. And jackass shot him with the flare gun. - Friday at 9:23pm

And now the Yeti shows up... disappointed that all those human-cicles have been burned. - Friday at 9:24pm

Well, that was a cheap excuse for a special effect. It's like the old Star Trek ship-rocking effect. - Friday at 9:26pm

Rescue team appears to be just close enough to be some sort of help. - Friday at 9:26pm

How many are going to die? One down already. - Friday at 9:27pm

Yeti, of course, prefers especially gruesome kill techniques. - Friday at 9:27pm

Hmm. Astonishing leaper. - Friday at 9:28pm

Flaregun didn't hurt it much. - Friday at 9:28pm

And the cute chick has been carried off. - Friday at 9:28pm

Rescuers have finally arrived. - Friday at 9:30pm

"We're too high up for helicopters" -- wasn't there a helicopter rescue from Mt. Everest last year? - Friday at 9:30pm

Jackass wanted to just leave (of course), but the rescuers are good with going to save hot chick, first. - Friday at 9:32pm

Time to hunt the Yeti! - Friday at 9:37pm

Jackass seems to be going along. - Friday at 9:37pm

Ew! Yeti spooning! - Friday at 9:38pm

Cave located. - Friday at 9:38pm

Stake trap set at cave entrance... might be a plot point. - Friday at 9:40pm

Ooh... the rescue buy brought a handgun... wonder if it will do any good. - Friday at 9:40pm

Sneak, sneak, sneak away from the creepy yeti. - Friday at 9:41pm

And of course the radio wakes it up. - Friday at 9:41pm

Yeti was shot as it fell into the trap... and the shot started a gratuitous avalanche. - Friday at 9:42pm

Safely hid under an overhang, but is the yeti dead? - Friday at 9:43pm

Ah, the yeti is digging out. I was wondering why the jackass was still alive. - Friday at 9:45pm

Hot chick still has the improvised javelin... I foresee an impaled yeti. - Friday at 9:46pm

Jackass has to pee... which will be when he gets killed horribly, no doubt. - Friday at 9:46pm

Oh, jackass split from the party. That's certain death. - Friday at 9:48pm

Rescue chick is about to die. - Friday at 9:49pm

Yeti used jackass as a bullet shield. Nice. - Friday at 9:49pm

Rescuers are both dead. Yeti takes a lot of bullets to kill. - Friday at 9:50pm

Yeti can jump! Jumps so well he should have caught up with them long ago, actually. - Friday at 9:55pm

Looks like javelin time for hot chick. - Friday at 9:56pm

QB charges to save everyone else; attempt to knock it off the cliff is a moderate success... hanging by a thread time. - Friday at 9:56pm

Yo... javelin to make it let go? - Friday at 9:57pm

Oh, better... javelin chained to a rock to make a harpoon... then the rock shoved over the edge. - Friday at 9:58pm

Oh, extra suckage to be backup QB. He survived being shot in the face with a flaregun, only to be left behind and find that there's a second yeti. - Friday at 10:00pm

This concludes our blow-by-blow review of "Yeti". - Friday at 10:01pm

1 comment:

Decca said...

was silly, watching you comment on your own status all evening *smooch*