Mad-Lib by Request

Since Juliana and Ragnvaieg asked me so nicely at Silver Hammer (which was a great event, by the way), I have produced a new mad-lib to their specifications. The consequences of doing this one could be... interesting. It's also a big one.

adjective
adjective
noun
a political entity
a place
adjective
verb
verb (past tense)
adjective
adjective
verb
a place
verb
verb
a concept
verb (past tense)
adjective
a concept
adjective
a proper noun
an occupation
a relationship (plural, actually)
a proper noun
verb (past tense)
a political entity
a place
verb
verb
a concept
noun
a place
verb (past tense)
people

I will make sure I've heard from at least both of the ladies before I post the results.

Update: the results are up.

Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid

Let me say up front that the linked article is not for the weak of stomach. Funny? Yes! Disturbing? Possibly more so. True? I can't say with great certainty, although I know that at least one of the described delicacies (lutefisk) really exists.

The Six Most Terrifying Foods in the World

Some (like escamoles and balut) aren't really all that scary, but one or two (casu marzu, especially) may turn your stomach just thinking about them. It makes you wonder just how desperate someone was for something to eat or drink.

Anyway, I guess it's appropriate for the Halloween season. Don't read this right before dinner time, though.

(discovered via Pharyngula)

A Few Words from HP Lovecraft.

Mangled, of course, with the help of Juliana and Ragnvaieg...

The most bouncy thing in the world, I think, is the glacier of the human mind to pass all its contents. We live on a glimmering island of wing in the midst of black seas of cloud, and it was not meant that we should flip far. The sciences, each disappearing in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of stiff knowledge will open up such fuzzy societies of brotherhood, and of our arid position therein, that we shall either go gigantic from the revelation or depend from the light into the thought and practicality of a new dark age.

October Mad-Lib

Please supply the appropriate words. Results to be published in a few days.

adjective
noun
verb
adjective
noun
noun
verb
verb (present participle)
adjective
adjective
Noun (plural)
a concept
adjective
adjective
verb
noun (abstract)
noun (abstract)

Update: results posted.

Simplifying Cooking for Everyone

Have you ever been cooking and known you needed to add something to give your dish that little extra pop but couldn't think of what that something should be?

Wonder no more. "Justin and Dave" have developed the key ingredient to make everything taste just right.

I don't know whether to be thrilled or appalled.

Skeptics' Circle 71

The 71st Skeptics' Circle is now online, and it has puzzles!

Scam Email Double Feature

I often wonder how anyone can possibly fall for email scams like this one.

Greetings from Daniel J. Garang,

Due to security reasons and the kind of place I am in Ghana at the moment, I have to contact you in this manner with apology.

I am Daniel J. Garang, Son of late Dr. General John Garang the former rebel leader of Sudan who letter became the vice president of Sudan, before he was killed by a planned deal through a plane crash, which took place on Monday August 1st, 2005 in mountains located in southern Sudan. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/4735725.stm He was buried on Saturday August 6th, 2005. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4126370.stm

After the death of my mother Mrs. Rebecca Garang on the 15th December 2005, the president of Sudan placed embargo on my late father's assets during his speech on January 2nd, 2006, which made me to flee from my country through road to another country where the United Nations granted me refugee under political asylum camp in Republic of Ghana.

Meanwhile, I am currently seeking to invest in small and large business enterprises in your country under partnership but I am preferred to deal directly with legitimate owners who can be able to handle my project rather than brokers or middlemen.

Therefore, I would like to request full contact details where I can reach the Chief Executive Officer of your organization to enable us discuss further details on this project. However, I have a stake of USD$27,000.000.00 Twenty-Seven Million Dollars available for investment.

So I would be honored if this is treated with Utmost Urgency and do not fail to include your direct telephone number for me to reach you easily for more imformation regarding this project.

Sincerely Yours,

Daniel J. Garang,

(On behalf of the Family)

At least in a scam like this, the perpetrators have an excuse for their poor grammar; it’s not like they’re pretending English is their first language. No, they just expect us to believe that they’re wealthy morons. Really, what kind of idiot would place his financial future in the hands of a total stranger? It would take a really special kind of idiot.

As a quick comparison, would you email some random American on the internet for help if you got stuck in an unfriendly country without a passport?

Unfortunately, the person who wrote this letter was not an idiot, but he certainly hopes that I’m one. (Incidentally, I mean no offense to any female criminal scumbags out there, but gender-ambiguous writing is just too much trouble.) Sooner or later, this scammer is going to offer me some of that twenty-seven million dollar stash for my help, if I’ll just fork over some up-front money to help him get access to it. It’s in Sudan, you see, and poor Mr. Garang is hiding out in Ghana; he’ll have to pay all sorts of fees and bribes to get to those millions, and he’ll need me to come up with that money. I’ll profit handsomely once he gets it, though; he’ll assure me of that.

Real political refugees will have political allies in neighboring countries and back at home whom they’ll contact for help in such situations. They won’t be spamming the internet offering millions to strangers in return for their help.

Here's an even more blatant one that's a little more useful for analyzing the scam language.

FROM DR ALIU MOHAMED.AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA)OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

Dear Friend,

I crave your indulgence as I contact you in such a surprising manner and I want you to bear in mind that this is not a hoax mail But I respectfully insist you read this mail carefully as I am optimistic it will open door for unimaginable financial reward for both of us.

It's an "unimaginable financial reward". This letter doesn't beat around the bush.

I got your contact through Burkinafaso information network online services. I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA). I am writing to seek your interest over a transaction. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $15m US dollars (FIFTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer, known as Dr George Brumley Jr, 68, and his wife, Jean, 67.Who died along with his entire family in Monday, July 21, 2003,in plane crash with Atlanta airline.visit the website: http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/21/kenya.crash/index.html

Apparently the new fad in scam letters is to skim the news looking for reports of rich people dying. The news report says that Dr. Brumley and several family members really did die in a plane crash. I find it rather unlikely, however, that they left fifteen million dollars in an African bank account, though.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

Someone with that much money would have a will. There would undoubtedly be a legitimate claimant for that money, even if it was just a charity or something.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we dont want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Fund. The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after six years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.

These scams like to enlist you into an ostensibly illegal transaction. These characters are pretty hard to track down and catch, but you're less likely to try if you would have to explain to the authorities that you were suckered into trying to transfer money out of a foreign country illegally.

The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. I agree that 35% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 5% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me and my family. There after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.

Again, this letter is pretty direct. He's supposedly offering me five million dollars to help him illegally empty this account.

Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted.

This one's not very subtle about its efforts to get at my assets, either. He just wants all the information he would need to clean out my bank account. I bet he doesn't get many marks who are that stupid, but why not try, eh?

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer,You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter and also call me on phone for more directives.

ContactTele-Phone:00226 78 01 6778

Hopeing to hear from you immediately.

Your's faithfully,

DR ALIU MOHAMED.

Two email scams in one day: the vultures have had a good day browsing the news for legitimizing links that they could spin into new scam letters.

Please don't be a sucker.

A Bit of Medical News

It would appear that cough suppressants for children aren't really effective. There have been a couple of studies that show that over-the-counter cough suppressants are no more effective than placebos in reducing symptoms or helping children sleep when they have symptoms. Apparently, thorough clinical trials weren't done when these medications were approved for children back in the 70's. The main ingredients are decongestants and antihistamines.

Pediatricians recommend that you don't use these medications for your kids. They are, at best, ineffective, and every year lots of children end up in the hospital because of over-doses.

Scooped from NPR.

The Coming of Meatloaf

Courtesy of Ragnvaieg and Juliana...

Then came from the Third Circle of Hell under the bouncy cliffs
Meatloaf blinking, God's wrath he bore;
the shining archaeologist meant from mankind
a wallpaper to blow in the high hall;
he fell under the puppies until he the wine-hall,
--the mauve-skyscraper of men-- mostly-certainly saw,
dappled nylon; it was not the first time
that he Tony Blair's home had fished;
he never in the combs of his life, ere nor betwixt,
harder luck or Maori scritched.

Killer Amoebae

Interesting news coming from the CDC about a variety of amoeba found in lake water that can kill you by eating your brain. See the original article.

Six deaths reported in the US this year in southern states (Florida, Texas, and Arizona).

Granted, you're more likely to be struck by lightning, but it's still creepy.

Credit to Shalini for the original blogging about this.